I don’t worry about the things in life, those are all but temporary. I care about what stays with me after death. We spend too much time worrying and not enough time smiling. Stop, relax, look up. Beauty’s all around you. You look at me and laugh because I’m different. I look at you and laugh because you are all the same.
I’ve just been informed that my pops will be performing Hajj, or the Pilgrimage to Mecca. The fifth and final pillar of Islam. When I was told, I didn’t know what to expect. Hajj changes people. My mother became a totally different person after her Hajj experience. Just hearing that my dad will be undertaking such a journey brings up a torrent of emotion I didn’t think I’d experience in regards to him. I worry for him, he’s old, just recovered from a broken ankle and a minor cardiac infarction. I’m proud, happy for him, he’s been dreaming about this day for so long. I fear for him. Fatalities during Hajj can be pretty high depending on the conditions, and I’m anxious. How? How will my father change, what if I never see him again? Sure, we yell, we butt heads, but there was always the undertone of love and understanding. Now, a great opportunity has been thrust upon him, and I might not get home in time to see him off. My own father, the man I based many of my own values off of. The one who challenged me to be a better man, physically, spiritually and mentally. The one who’s held me back from making the stupidest mistakes possible. And now he might be gone forever.
1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? 3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time? 4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? 5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? 6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? 7. What exactly are you wearing right now? 8. How often do you listen to music? 9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? 10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2012? 11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? 12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘B’? 13. What about ‘S’? 14. Can you drive a stick shift? 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? 16. Are you going out of town soon? 17. When was the last time you cried? 18. Have you ever told someone you loved them? 19. If you could change your eye color, would you? 20. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? 21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. 22. Is it cute when guys/girls kiss you on your forehead? 23. Are you dating the last person you talked to? 24. What are you sitting on right now? 25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? 27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? 28. Do you get a lot of colds? 29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? 30. Does anyone hate you? 31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? 32. Do you like watching scary movies? 33. Do you want your tongue pierced? 34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? 35. Did you have a dream last night? 36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? 37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? 38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? 39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? 40. Did you have a good day yesterday? 41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? 42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? 43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? 44. What’s the best part about school? 45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? 46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? 48. Were you single over the last summer? 49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now? 51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? 52. Are you nice to everyone? 53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? 54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings? 56. Do you think you like someone? 57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘T’? 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? 59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? 60. Do you hate anyone? 61. How’s your heart? 62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? 63. Have you ever cried over a guy? 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? 65. Are your toenails painted pink? 66. Will your next kiss be a mistake? 67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct? 68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? 69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? 70. How do you look right now? 71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? 72. Can you commit to one person? 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? 74. Have you ever felt replaced? 75. Did you wake up cranky? 76. Are you a jealous person? 77. Are relationships ever worth it? 78. Anyone you’re giving up on? 79. Currently wanting to see anyone? 80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? 81. Last person you cried in front of? 82. Is there someone you will never forget? 83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? 85. Are you over your past? 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? 88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? 89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? 91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months? 92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael? 93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew? 94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going? 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? 97. Who do you have texts from? 98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? 99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you? 101. Ever kissed under fireworks? 102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?
The last Prophet (swt) was seen striking a rock in the way of a path of some sort. As the rock was struck, sparks would fly from it. The prophet was asked to strike the rock, and he did do. He struck the rock once, and shouted “Allahu Akbar!” (Praise to God!) He struck the rock once more, and again shouted “Praise to God!” and again he struck the rock once more, shouting the same words. A companion of the Last Prophet asked why he kept praising God each time the rock was struck. It was reported that the Prophet replied: “Every time I saw those sparks I saw Islam. I saw Islam in Byzantium. I saw Islam in Syria. I saw Islam in Damascus.”
I’m glad I spent this one at home. The family was warm, homemade soup was warmer. After getting home from a small gathering of friends, the fam was just happy to see me. I guess I do matter, and that makes me feel good. I may be getting sick, but I certainly don’t feel that way around them. I guess they’re just awful in excess. How does being far away from them make me love them more?